525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? | Reflective Post

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? | Reflective Post

I'm actually struggling to write this post and i don't quite know why, I've literally started it and deleted it so many times, i just don't really know how to start but we'll see where this ends up.




I originally intended to do a different post and write a letter to myself, which probably sounds a bit weird but i wanted it to be reflective and just have a little more meaning. Then, i realised the date and somehow writing a post to myself almost made me a feel a little selfish as today marks the one year anniversary of my friend's death. Even typing that feels weird; it was so unexpected that sometimes it still doesn't feel real and somehow it's already been a year, how has it gone by so quickly?

A couple of days after i found out and it'd settle in a little bit i wrote this post, it's a little angry sounding but also so full of determination; it scared me just how fast and how unexpected life can be taken from us and how all those things we dwell on wouldn't matter anymore and all the important things were put into perspective and i guess it made me realise that all these expectations people had just weren't as important as mine or my own happiness.

I sometimes get really frustrated with the choices i made; I've wasted so much time in college and in uni only to not do anything with them but at the same time i think it's kind of brave; i knew that it was making me miserable and that i didn't want to force myself into a career that would probably be soul destroying, i put my foot down and did something for me. Now I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that i live everyday to it fullest because sometimes it just doesn't work out that way but i am making memories, having adventures and slowly crossing things off my bucket list so I've not broken the vow completely.

I'm going to a charity night next month in his memory; to raise money for C-R-Y (Cardiac Risk in the Young) which should be a lovely night, it's a great way for everyone to get together but it's also a great way to remember him as he always loved a good night out! I'm gonna end this post here because I'm either gonna make myself all teary or bore you to tears, I'm sorry if this isn't a post you want to read, ill be back with a beauty post tomorrow.

Thinking of you James.
Natalie xx

8 comments:

  1. Im so sorry to hear about your Friend! R.I.P!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, I haven't seen your blog for ages! I'm really sorry about your friend :(
    I kinda abandoned my old blog and made a new one, and it would really help if you checked it out :3 Could you consider a button swap too? :3
    www.eatthecheesephil.blogspot.com
    Luhts uhf luhv,
    Molly

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely, lovely post. Well done, I can only imagine how hard it would be to write.

    Charlotte - www.blotandreapply.com x

    ReplyDelete
  4. So sorry, but this is such a lovely post xo

    theglamaddict.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

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