I've been blogging for so long now that i often wonder whether i still enjoy my hobby or whether it has in fact just become a habit.
When you've done it for so long it's so easy to fall into a routine or a rut and sometimes i often wonder whether i continue to blog because it's something i love to do or because it's become something i don't know how to not do.
When i first started blogging almost four years ago, it was so different to how it is now, the community was much smaller but it was amazing; everyone was friendly, they supported each other and it was a really pleasant thing to be a part of. It was less stress; everybody had simple point and shoot cameras, awful lighting and wonderfully dodgy photos - myself included, if you look back at some of my earlier posts the photos really make me cringe.
That was the beauty of it though, everyone was a novice but we were all learning together. I can remember when i first started my blog, i got so excited every time i thought of something to post about and i don't really feel that anymore. Nowadays, the blogging community is so different. I'm not saying that people aren't friendly or supportive because they are but compared to how it was - i don't feel like i belong in it anymore.
Everyone seems to have their own little cliques and i barely interact on twitter because despite that fact I've been blogging so long i feel quite inferior to a lot of you. There so much pressure from other bloggers to be the best that its so easy to feel inadequate not to mention the amount of posts telling you what you can and can't do. Instead of being a positive place, it's become another added stress in my life where i feel like I'm not good enough.
All this and the recent issues with my giveaway has made me question why i put myself through it. I was lucky, i didn't receive as much hassle as some people might but i felt targeted, it wasn't pleasant and i genuinely considered deleting my blog and giving it up altogether. The giveaway was meant to be a thank you and all i wanted was to do something nice and because of this, it's going to be the last giveaway i ever do.
This past week, i took the time to really think about what i want when it comes to this blog and truth be told, i really don't want to give it up. I'm proud of my blog and I'm proud of my following - my blog is lesser known than some that have been blogging for a much shorter time than me but i don't care anymore. I'm tired of the pressure and from now on, I'm blogging for myself. Obviously, i hope you will still enjoy my content and remain following but i concentrate to much on what i think others will think, instead of doing it for myself and just hoping they like it too.
A hobby is supposed to be fun, something that's enjoyed and that you do because you love it and that's exactly what my blog used to be and it's what i hope for it to be again.